Guardian Soulmates - The thinking man’s online dating website. Since joining this particular forum for meeting gentleman, I have had a questionable experience. Maybe it is because any online dating forum is completely backwards in its approach to getting people to meet, maybe because it makes you more shallow than you consider yourself to be in real life, maybe it is because I am an ineffective communicator. But to date, I have only had 2 out of 8 people respond to emails I have sent.
The first started some banter, but failed and continue, the second, I tried to get an in by asking about where I should go for a snow holiday which he has provided a response, but there has been no further or forthcoming offers to meet.
It puzzles me why I am having so few responses, when, as according to their description of their ideal match, I more than often meet part to all of their description. Common qualities include: confidence (tick), easy-going (tick) female (tick). Note: none of the profiles have stated ‘I am after superhot midget with golden hair that speaks the Queen’s English. Not one states that.
Given the little success, I thought I should share with you an example of the profile of one such gentleman and my email sent....
1fromupnorth – man, 34, South London, height-appropriate, gingeish. His profile reads:
Hello
Mmm... Yeah, okay. Dead easy this part right? Really simple. Err... I'm convinced that it's better to chat over a bottle of red than blah blah blah on here so I'm not going to write too much.
What you can know about me at this point is that I like, in no particular order, listening to music, playing music, watching people do musical things (normally called a gig or concert), working in music, making things to eat, eating them, freezing them, defrosting them, eating them again, the cinema (but not as a date), Sam Smiths pubs, keeping fit (when I can be bothered), sitting in the sun (not very often at this time of year), parks in the rain, the Sunday papers, radio 4, radio 6, radio 5, the x factor (but mainly the auditions), my alarm clock, my Mac, my iPod, my blackberry, my bed, my kettle, my tiny flat, things that make me laugh, Ghostbusters, reading, taking ages to read one book, South London, North London, East London (when it's not too trendy), festivals (but not the recovery process) cups of tea, cups of coffee, the smell of creosote on a wooden fence and wood pigeons.
Mmm... Yeah, okay. Dead easy this part right? Really simple. Err... I'm convinced that it's better to chat over a bottle of red than blah blah blah on here so I'm not going to write too much.
What you can know about me at this point is that I like, in no particular order, listening to music, playing music, watching people do musical things (normally called a gig or concert), working in music, making things to eat, eating them, freezing them, defrosting them, eating them again, the cinema (but not as a date), Sam Smiths pubs, keeping fit (when I can be bothered), sitting in the sun (not very often at this time of year), parks in the rain, the Sunday papers, radio 4, radio 6, radio 5, the x factor (but mainly the auditions), my alarm clock, my Mac, my iPod, my blackberry, my bed, my kettle, my tiny flat, things that make me laugh, Ghostbusters, reading, taking ages to read one book, South London, North London, East London (when it's not too trendy), festivals (but not the recovery process) cups of tea, cups of coffee, the smell of creosote on a wooden fence and wood pigeons.
I'll come back and add more when I can work out what I'm trying to say
He describes his ideal match thus:
You will be female. That would be a good start. You'll enjoy at least 5 things from my about me section. Did I mention the you will be female part? God this is stupid. I don't know. You'll be 'nice'?? You might not be. Oh, you'll probably not be on the rebound. Female? etc...
On reading this, I thought to myself, I can piss this one in. My email was thus:
This is example taken from the ‘no reply forthcoming’ outbox. I therefore seek from you some views on where I might be going wrong and I welcome suggestions for improvement. In the meanwhile, I will preserver with my unique blend of sass and hilarity, a blend that I am fast concluding is not the way forward.
In closing – check me out at http://dating.guardian.co.uk/s/ - online dating identity ‘ThisisJai’
I'd date you Jaime!! But I know you're a top chick and the people reading your profile on the Guardian dating site probably don't (yet). Oh yeah, and I'm a girl and I'm married, so it probably wouldn't work between us.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the OK Cupid blog? It's a blog about actual scientific studies based on millions of profiles on the OK Cupid online dating site. I'm not sure how you'd improve your profile ('cause I think you've done really well - I could never think of something witty and clever to write!), but you might find some tips on here: http://blog.okcupid.com/. For example this one's about profile pictures: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/my-best-face/.
Good luck! And looking forward to the next post... xx